A Lament for Hard Copies

They just don’t make things like they used to. I used to be able to carry around an actual book and kids these days just carry around their slim technological devices that have no substance or feel to them. My hard copies are durable while their versions can be erased in a heartbeat. I don’t mean to sound like a Luddite, but you can’t deny that there’s something intrinsic in the hard copy that is lost with the new devices. I can add in my margin notes and underline passages and I know that they will last. I don’t have to depend on updating my hardware constantly and spend money replacing worn-out, planned-obsolesence versions. It’s all a bid to increase production and consumption anyway, and I haven’t even gotten started on the copyright issues. How is an author and creative artist supposed to make a profit when it’s so easy to copy and pass to your friends? What will happen when the publishing industry as we know it ceases to exist? I tell you, our world is going to hell in a handbasket. My only consolation is that the way things are going is bound to implode. There’s no way that paper books are ever going to last. Isn’t it obvious how flammable and fragile they are? We’re much safer and better off with the stone tablets that have been the foundation of our civilization for hundreds of years. Besides, think of the health benefits! Everyone knows that reading stone is better for your eyes and that carrying them around is great exercise. Don’t let the hipsters be the only ones hauling around their slabs of engraved knowledge; reject the flimsy fiber and revolt against the evils of paper books!



5 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Kathy Haskin on March 9, 2012 at 8:49 am

    Thanks for a good laugh, Andrew, with some good points. I missed the Laughing Yoga group at our church last Sunday.


  2. Hahahahaha! Most excellent, Andrew. Thanks for sharing.



  3. Posted by Dad on March 13, 2012 at 9:41 pm

    Great post dude!

    Do you know where that hard copy is? It looks familiar, like your mom and I read it within the past couple of years, but I can’t remember where we left it! Was it in the Lourve?




  4. Posted by Tyler BoddySpargo on March 22, 2012 at 11:24 pm

    I don’t know man. Rock just seems to vulnerable to the elements. All that erosion and stuff. I think the durability of all of our most precious written creations would then be at the whim of mother nature. I say we take it a step further. Everything must now be memorized. Do away with writing systems, they are the enemy. They produce all that is fleeting and extinctable in the world. Thus we will crawl out of this human stink-hole of all things written and be free of the everlasting constraints of saving stuff! No more! No more…



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